Making Things Right

My life is not what it once was.

Each day, I evolve. I grow. I change. Part of me that belongs to yesterday fades, another part remains, and the part of myself that is here now meets my future self in every moment of every day.

In every instant, I cease to be and I come into being all at once.

This also means that every instant is the birth of the new me, and in any given moment, that new me can become something else…and perhaps what I have undone in my life can be made whole once again.

I have not always been aware of the harm that my lifestyle has caused to the world, to others, and to myself. For a long time, I have possessed the knowledge but not the realization. My intentions have never been harmful, but that doesn’t mean that in my ignorance, I have avoided hurtful actions. Far from it.

I am not who I once was. I am becoming someone else now. My awareness has grown.

My lifestyle, the one I lived prior to beginning my UBBT journey, was hurting me. I ate poorly, slept little, and exercised intermittently. For this, I have paid a heavy price – some of that literally, more of it in other realms of my life.

Not all of it was hurtful, but that’s how we justify things to ourselves sometimes, isn’t it? “I know this is bad for me, but for the most part, I’m a good person, so this time, it’s okay.” Sure. It’s okay this time. And the next time, and the time after that. Then we call it a habit, as if the word offered any support.

Then come the defenses: “I’ve always been this way.” “I’ve tried.” “I’ll get around to it.” Mix them up as you wish, add a dash of other excuses, and you get a nice little cornucopia of rationalizations to protect yourself from anyone daring enough to care and say something.

This year, it’s time that I stop lying to myself. I’ve done enough damage.

This year, I must realize. This year, I must learn.

This year, my life is my apology, my amends, and my atonement to both myself and my world. This year, the hurtful side of my life will fade into yesterday, and I will meet the man that I shape myself into in every new instant.

That man, like me, will not be who he once was. He will be better, as will I.

May your Live journey lead you to meet a better You.