This is a public service announcement, on behalf of the children who cannot say this for themselves.
New parents: your baby stroller is NOT a device used to force your way through large crowds in public gatherings and/or shopping centers, nor is it an automatic guarantee that oncoming traffic will stop if/when you walk (or run) into the street.
You see, my friends, it sort of works like this:
Usually, strollers are out in front of you while you walk or run behind it, pushing the rolling cart that contains your newborn child. When you use this device like a battering ram, you are not only bumping people around rudely, you're endangering your child...or at the very least, indirectly using your child as a battering ram.
Also, while it's true that the overwhelming majority of drivers in the world have a powerful urge to avoid running over human offspring of any age, some drivers (even those who are well-trained in the martial arts) also have a very difficult time stopping their cars at short range when they are on a highway entrance ramp together with you.
Fortunately, I wouldn't happen to know anyone who has been shoved around by "stroller bullies" or who've almost wrecked their cars while narrowly avoiding a vehicular manslaughter charge. I also don't think that such a person could ever have this happen more than a dozen times in a 48-hour period.
I am also a terrible poker player.
P.S. To those people who push empty strollers around in order to take advantage of the same manipulative phenomenon, that's rather messed up.
This concludes today's message. Had this been an actual emergency, I would have called in Chuck Norris to handle it.
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