Residual Self-Image

"Your appearance now is what we call residual self-image.
It is the mental projection of your digital self."
-Morpheus, from The Matrix

Up until recent video of myself, it's been hard for me to picture myself as having gained so much weight. Sure, my pants are a little more snug, but I haven't changed sizes. Same with shirts. In my head, I guess I had always pictured myself as being slightly leaner because I've never weighed this much, and the way that I like to remember myself is when I was a slimmer man.

That's just a mental projection, though. It's not real. The only reality that it had was the one that I gave it, when I was convincing myself that I was still 21.

Time to stop lying to myself.

It's there on tape, for everyone to see. That's me right now, with a good 40 pounds to lose before my Buddha belly returns to the plane of enlightenment and my scale acknowledges my own enlightenment. Perhaps it'll be even more before my belly doesn't register as part of my profile in the mirror.

I'm not saying this because I'm depressed about it. Well, a little, but I'm not going to dwell on it. It's helped me realize the necessity of what I'm doing for myself, and it's helped to contribute to the same sense of dissatisfaction that I had when I first began this blog.

It's time to hit the gym. Time to start eating right.

I can't delegate this task. This journey must be my own.

Playing Catch-Up

I've had a flurry of posts in the past few days. Sorry if I've been spamming anyone's Feedburner. I'm just honoring a commitment and doing my best to follow through on it.

Many of you know that I spend my days working as a quasi-mild-mannered English teacher. It's also fairly close to finals week and I tend to experience a lot more complaints than normal around this time of year, since I'm somewhat ruthless with end-of-term assignments and deadlines. With the amount of writing that I'm asking my students to do, I thought it would be a fair challenge for me to step up and do some writing of my own.

The difference is that I'm asking my students to produce an essay before finals, and then come in to take a rather meaty all-essay final.

I've challenged myself to average one post per day until the end of school. This includes posts to make up for the time that I was away camping, which is part of the reason behind the aforementioned flood of posts upon my return. If you add up all of my posts since this blog's inception, I think I've written quite a bit!

To my students: your turn.

Week Without Walls DVD Preview

I'm speechless.

My brother has been working tirelessly on a video which chronicles my Week Without Walls trip. I'd like to give a DVD to each participant from the trip, plus a few others whom I'd love to share this with.

Unfortunately, the full video will not be finished in time for my school's open house, but he did make a 2-minute trailer for me to show to parents and students.

Take a moment and check it out. It's really something.

Workout Summary: Day 35

Ahhh, back to the grind.

I shouldn't call it that, but sometimes it feels that way. Maybe it's a sign that I need to spice things up in my workouts. At the very least, it's a sign that I'm beginning to feel complacent, which I'm recognizing as a good thing because I've made some progress.

For now, I've decided to stay the course and exercise some discipline to maintain my current workouts. I'll need to step up the intensity eventually if I'm going to get serious results, but for now, I can rest assured that my new workout regimen is becoming a regular habit.

Been taking care of blisters on my feet recently. Feels yummy. Neosporin is my friend.

Tally for the week:

• Running (elliptical): 4 miles (Sat, Wed - 2 miles each)
• Cycling (stationary): 50 miles (10 per day Fri, Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed, not today)
• Pushups: 500 (100 per day Fri, Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed)
  
• Crunches: 750 (150 per day Fri, Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed)
• Squats (no weights): 300 (100 Fri, 100 Sun, 100 Tues, 4 sets of 25)
• Lunges (no weights): 300 (100 Fri, 100 Sun, 100 Tues, 2 sets of 25 - each side)
• Form repetitions: 30 (10x Fri, 10x Sun, 10x Tues. Each day consists of 5 traditional, 5 contemporary)
• Kicks: 1600 (800x Sat, 800x Wed. Assorted kicking techniques.)
• Bag work: 8 rounds (60 sec rounds; 4x Sat, 4x Wed. Assorted boxing techniques.)

Total since Day 1:

• Running (total): 44 miles
• Cycling (total): 246 miles
• Hiking: 18 miles
  
• Pushups: 2450
• Crunches: 4600
• Squats: 1200
• Lunges: 1200
• Form repetitions: 140
• Kicks: 6700
• Bag work: 48 rounds (48m total)

You Will Not Find Truth In Me

"Everything I tell you is a lie.
Every question I ask is a trick.
You will find no truth in me."
-Vergere, from SW-NJO: Traitor, by Matthew Stover

I hold a master's rank and title, but I do not claim to have mastered anything. Some might suggest that this quasi-Socratic approach to training makes me wise.

I just think it makes me honest.

If anything, I am still a student, with much to learn. Sure, I have invested a great deal of time and effort collecting and organizing my knowledge into a personal system; however, I acknowledge that whatever I have gleaned from my teachers is incomplete, and that part of my role as a mentor to my students is to pass down my unfinished work so that they may one day fill in the gaps with their own answers.

I hope that they choose not to accept my teachings dogmatically. I have no interest in seeing a shrine of my knowledge preserved for eternity. What I pass down has, and always will be, a living system, assembled with both passion and reason as my guides. I hope that my students will try to internalize my teachings to the best of their ability, then analyze it against the backdrop of reality in order to preserve what is useful, celebrate what is beautiful, study what is interesting, and discard the rest while applying the same process to their own process of exploration, with reason to temper passion, and passion to give purpose.

Nothing I say should be accepted as blind truth. It is, to the best of my knowledge and ability, as complete as possible, but it is also incomplete, and therefore not entirely the truth. To this extent, I suggest that it can be a healthy approach as a student to consider the possibility that everything I say is a lie. I say this not because I am untrustworthy, but so that students might subject my passion and ideas to the crucibles of reason and reality in order to discern the truth for themselves.

It is entirely possible that some of what I say might contain some truth. If so, I take no credit for it. Those words were borrowed from another wiser teacher, and should be passed on just as easily as they were given.

Then again, if none of it turns out to be true, then at least I was honest when I told you that everything I said is a lie.

Endgame: A Review

I've been slowly reading through Derrick Jensen's two-volume work, Endgame, for the past couple of months.

I usually don't peruse books this thoroughly; most of the time I scan books in a matter of minutes in the local bookstore and return them to the shelf. If something about the book catches my eye enough to warrant a second or third reading, I'll buy it and then revisit the same scanning process at home.

Endgame isn't like this. This book makes me slow down.

I don't slow down because the book is tiresome, uninteresting, or difficult to comprehend. I slow down because in between Jensen's anecdotes about coffee conversations with friends about the state of our world, he drives home polemic spears which sink deeply into my naive perceptions about the damage that humans are doing to the world. I slow down because I need to reevaluate my thoughts and actions more critically after reading what Jensen has to say.

There has never been a greater need for environmental self-defense in our history. I confess that I'm merely a newbie when it comes to thinking green, but after reading this book, I'm willing to learn. I'm not certain that I'm ready for the kind of revolutionary action which is suggested by some of the book's anecdotes, but I'm feeling the stirrings of global thought.

Free Day

Recent events have altered my workout pattern. I haven't given myself a free day in a while, so I'm taking one today.

Free days are important. The body needs time to rest and recover, plus it's also a way for me to moderate myself. Without that, I'd probably push myself until I became injured - not helpful.

Today's not entirely a free day anyway. I've got a lot to catch up on workwise before school meets again on Tuesday. Time to grade assignments and plan lessons...while watching DVDs. :)

I should probably clean my classroom too. The place looks like a bomb hit it, with shattered bricks and boards left over from black belt testing and the Week Without Walls group, and a few forgotten bags of laundry and sleeping gear left behind by students. (Eww.)

I also have a lot of blogging to catch up on! I've got a few drafts of posts in the works. I'll publish them as I finish them. Might be a few days before I catch up.

System Overload

(We ate in this room. Very neat atmosphere.)

My family celebrated my mother's birthday earlier this evening. On my brother's recommendation, we decided to try an upscale Filipino restaurant in South San Francisco, called Intramuros. Neat place!

Unfortunately, Filipino cuisine is not necessarily the best stuff for me to be eating. After a week of all-natural and organic cleansing, this was probably the complete polar opposite of that. Don't get me wrong. The food was outstanding, and well worth the price. I would highly recommend this restaurant to anyone who enjoys (or would like to try) Filipino dishes. It's just also going to take a few bonus workouts in order to work all of that tasty goodness off of my midsection, that's all.

Tonight, it didn't matter. What mattered most was that my mom enjoyed her meal, and she did. We ate like royalty, laughed like children, made ourselves at home, and put away our cares and concerns for a couple of hours. There's something healthy about doing that once in a while, too.

I'm telling this to my arteries so they'll forgive me in the morning.

(Healthy note: Calamansi juice is awesome.)

Taking the High Road

Despite my generally amiable nature, I have numerous pet peeves which irritate me. One of them is when people engage in feeble, mocking attempts at respectful behavior, and ultimately end up just failing to conceal their disdain. You know, like that oh-so-obligatory handshake which is simply given because it's a custom and not because it's genuine? Or those people who smile and speak calmly while they issue insults, attempting to hide an obvious lack of tact by giving the impression that they're being constructive? It drives me batty, and I find it hard to avoid the temptation to fire off a snappy remark to chop their ego down to size (of which I have several). Still, I manage to do so most of the time.

Sometimes I get that feeling from old-generation martial artists (of all levels). They see a young and idealistic master (or someone who they think makes such claims), and then I am suddenly placed in positions where I am tested on my knowledge of the esoteric hidden teachings of ancient warrior cultures. Other times, I am asked questions about my style and watch their frustration when their attempts to categorize me into martial stereotypes fail (I have abandoned most notions of style and system, other than to respect and pay homage to those which are part of my lineage and those who value such things...more on that another time). Once, I was even challenged by someone who interrupted my class to request a match - and he was serious. (Didn't such nonsense end long before chop-saki B-grade kung fu films depicted them as another day in the life of an action star?)

It's very strange when this happens. It reminds me of KJN Tom's open letter to the martial arts world (see his 5/4/09 entry on his blog), asking them to grow up. I find such treatment to be childish and ego-based. It is a form of treatment which I find discriminatory, since most of these so-called experts would have never been this disrespectful to their own masters - had they received any training worth mentioning. Instead, they hold the standards of their teacher up as a lens by which to judge me negatively, based on my 'inadequacies' (read as: differences between what we do).

Nonetheless, I bear the offenses with dignity. It is their misunderstanding, and does not have to become my offense unless I choose to take them. Also, it's possible that I'm just offended due to my own misunderstanding, so I'd rather not overreact to something which may simply be an error. Instead, I feel reinforced in my obligation to lead by example - to display qualities of mastery without giving in to the pinpricks to my ego.

When faced with rudeness, I am polite at first, gentle when appropriate, and firm when necessary.

When faced with know-it-alls, I become a student at first, a conversationalist when appropriate, and a professor when necessary.

When faced with harsh criticism, I listen and reflect, letting go when it is appropriate, and taking action when it is appropriate.

When faced with hecklers, I succeed in order to help them believe. I cannot force them to believe, but I can focus and not allow their disbelief to become my own.

Regardless of their treatment, I will not allow such people to reduce me to their level simply because I choose not to be "one of them". I can be more, and I can always improve...but such things come on my terms, not anyone else's.

Week Without Walls, Day 5

Today, my students will face their final challenge of the week: board breaking. They have been preparing for this all week through conditioning themselves physically, focusing themselves mentally, and calming themselves emotionally. For some of them, this will be their first time breaking a board - mere days after beginning their training.

At this stage, breaking is less of a physical obstacle and more of a mental one. If they believe that they cannot do it, they will be right, thanks to the magic of self-fulfilling prophecies; however, if they believe they can, then they open themselves to the possibility of success.

To add to the challenge, I'm asking each of them to speak publicly and openly to their classmates before performing their break. This week has been about facing fear, personal transcendence, and life mastery. I've asked them to address all of the above in a brief 20-second speech:

Sir, when this week began, I was afraid of....
During this week, I faced it by....
I'm not afraid anymore. This board is my fear.

With those words spoken, each student pierced the room with a loud yell...and where one board once lay, now there are two.

The room fills with applause, encouragement, and the sound of high-fives. It is a peak experience that they will never forget. I'm glad that they came this week.

Gentle Reminder Received - Thanks!

This morning, one of my students caught me doing my squats only half-heartedly as I supervised the group and called me on it. I wasn't paying attention as I was scanning the class, and I heard a friendly, "all the way now!" come from the front line. It was a good reminder. Thanks John! I needed those squats.

Earlier this week, one of my students saw me wandering through the group during an independent practice session, and reminded me, "aren't you going to train with us too, sir?" I smiled and joined them. Thanks Barnaby! It was a great opportunity.

Even black belts need to be reminded sometimes. As often as I try, sometimes I have my moments, and I'm glad that I have a good support team with me. In my younger years, I thought I had to save face in front of my students and avoid making mistakes. I like that my students can keep me honest without sacrificing anything from our relationship. If anything, it deepens it because the support goes both ways, and they appreciate that I acknowledge my own human imperfections and strive to work on them - just as I expect them to do.

Workout Summary: Day 28

(One of my students jogging along the beach.)

This week's workout has been modified, due to my Week Without Walls group and black belt testing activities, so it will appear irregular compared to my previous routines. I've made a concerted effort to participate with them when possible, so I've been exerting my leadership through personal example. I've found that by serving as their role model, I can accomplish many things nearly as well as I could when I was roaming the lines and making corrections! (Not that I shouldn't stop doing that - there's room for both.)

Most of the workouts came from hiking, conditioning, and training exercises. Working out on the beach was amazing, but I've noticed how much I've missed hiking after spending most of the week hiking with my students. I'm going to fit in some more hikes this summer, while the weather is great.

Tally for the week:

• Hiking: 18 miles (4m Mon, 4m Tues, 6m Wed, 4m Th; beach & hilly terrain)
• Running (beach): 2 miles (total of short sprints along the beach each day)
• Running (elliptical): 2 miles (Sat)
• Running: 7 miles (Sun - yay B2B! It's technically 7.5, but the beginning was a crawl. Also, I'm not going to count all of the walking to/from Caltrain.)
• Cycling (stationary): 30 miles (Fri-Sun; 10 miles each)
  
• Pushups: 800 (100 Fri, 100 Sat, 100 Sun, 50 Mon, 100 Tues, 150 Wed, 200 Th)
  
• Crunches: 1300 (100 Fri, 100 Sat, 100 Sun, 100 Mon, 200 Tues, 300 Wed, 400 Th)
• Form repetitions: 20 (10x Fri, 10x Sun. Each day consists of 5 traditional, 5 contemporary)
• Bag work: 4 rounds (60 sec rounds; 4x Sat. Assorted boxing techniques.)

Total since Day 1:

• Running (total): 40 miles
• Cycling (total): 196 miles
• Hiking: 18 miles
  
• Pushups: 1950
• Crunches: 3100
• Squats: 900
• Lunges: 900
• Form repetitions: 110
• Kicks: 5100
• Bag work: 40 rounds (40m total)

Week Without Walls, Day 4

Today, we break camp and head north to train at Kicks USA Martial Arts Center in Pleasanton. Before we do that, we need to give thanks to the land for providing us with a peaceful and exciting place to train. We've planned a massive cleanup effort for today, and the students all appear eager to take on the task.

Our challenge: clean a 100-yard wide stretch of beach for 1 mile. Anything man-made is to be collected and disposed of properly. Total cleanup area: 5280ft x 300ft = 1,584,000 square feet.

Students were organized into teams of 3. Each of them was provided with a large 40-gallon trash bag to collect any junk that they encountered along their path. Each team was assigned a 20-yard wide lane to scan as the group moved southward. With 6 active teams and 2 roaming instructors helping out, there was plenty of overlap.

The beach was rather clean. Collectively, we barely filled a bag after combining our findings; however, we were still pleased at having helped to improve the place.

We then turned our efforts towards breaking camp, cleaning the campsite and surrounding areas, and then said our goodbyes to Sunset Beach State Park.

Week Without Walls, Day 3

There are so many success stories to share from this week. I'm way beyond proud right now. Sure, it's mid-week and the fatigue is beginning to eat at their focus a little bit (read as: lots), but they are still making phenomenal progress.

In 3 days' time, they've managed to train as much as most new students train in their first 2 months. Complete strangers are becoming friends. I'm watching a girl with asthma complete 150-yard sprints on the beach without stopping, and without needing to reach for the inhaler in her pocket because she's learning to differentiate between an asthma attack and a good cardio workout. I'm hearing people cheer and support each other as if they were longtime teammates. I'm sensing a sense of camaraderie which I don't often see after 3 days.

Welcome to the NEW old-school, folks.

Longtime martial artists often romanticize about the 'old school' ways of training: how it produced hardcore black belts who were tough-as-nails, how champions from that era became legends, and how people would be hard-pressed to match their caliber of skill. That's also because the training methods also eliminated almost everyone except for the strongest. The practical result of this was a collection of legendary champions, many of whom with injuries that would cripple lesser mortals, and a legion of former martial artists who can claim to have worked out with them.

Then came the 'new school' of the late 80's and 90's (my era): the days when The Karate Kid and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles turned the martial arts into mainstream fare, and schools had to evolve out of the 'dungeon dojo' days in order to retain their latest crop of child prodigies. Often, training was sacrificed in lieu of retention gimmicks, and while martial arts blossomed more than ever before, I'd dare to say that it also resulted in the all-time largest drop in overall quality for the martial arts in general. When I say this, I don't mean that schools weren't producing champions or self-defense experts or people with phenomenal attitudes or community centerpieces....I mean that schools became experts in the art of Take-Yer-Dough more than any other art, and it showed.

Here's the deal: people want authentic training. They want real confidence. They want to know that they're making real progress and not just earning a piece of tape, a new patch, a fancy uniform, an unpronouncable title, or the latest tie-dye glow-in-the-dark belt. Not that those things are bad, but given time, people will resent your program if there is no depth beyond them. We can't offer a bait-and-switch personal development program with a martial arts skin. We need to offer a genuine martial arts program with a world-class personal development program included with the package, free of charge. (Now that's value!)

Training must empower our students, much as our own training empowered us. In the new 'old school', we have the opportunity to use our experience to construct a superior training program which honors the old ways, yet implements the next evolution. Through this, we can reach out to more people, improving our communities one person at a time...and paying it forward.

Someday, they will romanticize about this week in their training: a time when they exceeded everyone's expectations, reached beyond themselves, and achieved greatness.

Time to practice stances in the ocean. Try it sometime - it's fun!

Week Without Walls, Day 2

Buzz, buzz, buzz. The time is 2:45am. Hardcore workout mode commencing soon. Can't wait. At 3:30, I'll soon be seeing tents open, quasi-conscious students moving around doing their morning routine, and a line forming in the center of the camp by 4:00am.

Our goal: to accomplish more before sunrise than most will in their entire day.

The entire class was in line by 3:45am. Most impressive, young Padawans! I'm very proud of them for this. Despite the fact that we had a grueling workout yesterday on the beach, and many of them were probably sore, I did not have to wake a single soul. They each woke up a buddy and were prepared to go right away!

We began with a night hike back to our favorite beach. Even with flashlights, the journey was a good test of awareness, focus, balance, and teamwork. There were several difficult steps which were managed well by the entire team, largely in part due to their cooperation and communication! Once on the beach, we began with a series of conditioning exercises, followed by forms and meditation as the sun began to rise.

It's overcast today, so we didn't get to see the same splendor, but it was still a beautiful sight. As light began to illuminate the clouds, the ocean waves began to sparkle less and foam more. Minds wandered in fatigue, but eventually focused and calmed themselves in cadence with the sound of the crashing waves, punctuated briefly by sharp breaths and the snap of arms blocking and punching at full speed.

This does not look like a mixed group. It's difficult to tell the beginners from the black belts. While on most days, I would pick on my black belts for this, today I don't - because it's the beginners who are stepping up, big time. Sure, their movement lacks a bit of the polish that some of the more experienced students have, but what really shines is their focus.

This is a group that is hungry for knowledge, one that is striving for more than just a vacation and karate games. We're in for a great day.

Week Without Walls, Day 1

Two weeks ago, eighteen students gathered in a room, all volunteers to go on my trip. Of them, three had traveled with me before, several are already active students in my program, two are black belts which I have trained, a handful have some experience from other instructors, and several more are new faces to the martial arts scene - but familiar students.

Many of them are excited about the trip. Some of them are anxious about the challenges which lie ahead. Others feel similarly, but they hold their feelings inside and keep themselves busy to distract themselves.

Today they are a team.

Today, I saw eighteen bodies carrying supplies to the vans, handing off gear and duffel bags as an assembly line, rapidly packing our vans to maximum capacity. I saw relative strangers reaching out to one another towards a common goal. Where I stand, I see unity where only fourteen days ago, there was fragmentation.

Today, I watched them work as a unit to build a marquee pavilion at our campsite, which will eventually house our gear and supplies. I saw new friends climb trees, toss footballs, and play cards together. I watched a train of bodies hike behind me as we made our way out to the beach, where our training would eventually begin.

I couldn't be more pleased. I had high expectations for this group. I've challenged them to transcend the level of the previous years' trips and set a new standard of excellence that others will aspire to.

I am confident that they will succeed.

Some many not believe it yet, by week's end, all of them will.

You Will Experience Fear

This post brought to you by my inner Trekkie, who enjoyed the new movie.
/random unpaid movie plug off

Tomorrow, I depart for my "Week Without Walls" trip. I'm thrilled to be able to share the next few days with my students because I know they will learn so much from the journey to come. At the same time, a part of me is anxious for many reasons, which is somewhat ironic since one of the major components of the week is about overcoming fear.

I think everyone carries a secret fear. Mine is the fear of not being good enough. To me, it's a different feeling than a fear of failure, or an unhealthy obsession with perfectionism. Since I've long since faced my fear and addressed it, my fear no longer has power over me. It takes a different form in my life now, as a prompt to take action.

I still experience fear, but now my fear is a gift. (Thanks, Gavin de Becker.)

Unaddressed fear can be paralyzing. It can be crippling, cause us to flee, stall, or at the very least, place us in a state of inaction. During this stasis, when our brains are processing a "fight or flight" state, not much gets accomplished.

My fears are mental and emotional cues. They tell me that it's decision time, and that action is required. This week, my students will have the chance to face one or more fears and then overcome them.

More on this later. For now, let the week begin!

Forehead, Meet Bricks

Heads are for thinking.

That's what I often say shortly after breaking something with my head. (Kids, don't try this at home. Same goes for adults and everyone inbetween.)

For what it's worth, coming from a guy who's slammed his Neanderthalesque noggin through enough inches of wood to furnish his home, not only is it unbelievably silly to waste natural resources by shattering them against your skull...it's downright stupid.

Tonight, I didn't think. I acted.

My elbow hit the stack of bricks, and a foot of concrete slabs hit the floor - except two of them were still intact. Two, out of six. The middle two, of all things. Who breaks the top and bottom, and leaves behind the middle? That sounds like something out of a bad Oreo commercial.

Anyways, I grab one of the bricks and it soon becomes two, thanks to the cleaving power of a previously-mentioned Neanderthalesque skull. The other brick soon is split in twain as well.

Now, I look like a were-unicorn.

One last time. Kids: don't try this at home. Ever.

Peak Experiences

Tonight marks the beginning of a 3-day black belt testing event at my school. There are those who frown on my old-style "Ironman" tests, often criticizing them as elements of the "dungeon dojo" days, but at my school, I've strived to blend the best elements of the old and the new together.

These next three days comprise one of many peak experiences that students face in my program. It is important for me to provide my students with numerous peak experiences. They instill a sense of confidence and growth every time they encounter one and succeed - progressively building students towards their black belt in a way that new white belts can look at their own black belt test not with a feeling of dread, but with excitement!

This weekend, I have one candidate (Alex), but his peers and friends in the program are all here helping to create a celebration of his advancement! Alex is sequestered in the school's computer lab, busily typing answers to a written exam and preparing a presentation about maintaining proper nutrition with an active lifestyle, which he will deliver shortly. While he is working on this, the rest of the students have been transforming a high school cafeteria into a formal atmosphere for demonstrations and a beautiful rank ceremony, to be held tomorrow night. They will finish their preparations at around the same time that Alex finishes his exam.

I'm very proud of all of them.

This is a peak experience for everyone involved. For Alex's support team, they're all heavily invested in preparing a first-class room, decorated specifically to celebrate him. For Alex, he's challenging his mind and focusing harder than I've ever seen him. Tomorrow, the roles will blend: Alex will complete the physical/technical requirements of the test, followed by a rank evaluation for his peers. (I ask them to test in the same environment because it allows them to envision themselves at their own black belt test.) Afterwards, they will all practice together to create a demonstration for Alex's family and friends - who will have their own peak experience from witnessing Alex's ascension into the Black Belt ranks.

On Sunday, I'm going to ask him to do something that he's never done before. Having a 'white belt' experience is, in my opinion, a perfect test for a black belt (well, anyone really) to have. It gives insight into having a "beginner's mind" all over again, which gives us an entry point into discussing further progress and having a healthy sense of compassion for his junior students! Even then, he will have a support team at his side, ready to coach him and help him to succeed.

All of these things are not foreign to Alex, or any of my students, for that matter. They learn, from the very first day, that in the process of improving ourselves, we need to stretch beyond our comfort zones. We need to do what we've never done before in order to get what we've never had before. Our training experiences are frequently punctuated with special peak experiences like this in order for them to grow and celebrate that growth.

The "Live" project, in many ways, is the rightful next evolution for myself and my program. Our school's culture is already, in many ways, prepared to attempt something new. It's going to be a new set of peak experiences for me, and for them, but I'm also very proud to see so many of them step up to volunteer, even though I haven't fully explained the precise details and requirements.

However, just as Alex will overcome his obstacles this weekend, we will all rise to our new challenge together.

Workout Summary: Day 21

I hit my first mental plateau this week. I recognized it for what it was and continued to push, but I definitely felt the first stirrings of boredom sneak in. I didn't change much this week; perhaps that's part of it, but I don't think I'm performing at the intensity level that I want to be at yet, so I want to preserve elements of this plan for a while longer before rotating my workout and adjusting my program.

I ran very lightly on the elliptical trainer this week, keeping the majority of my cardio work to the stationary bike. (I need to get my bike fixed up so I can ride without staring at a wall.) My knees were grateful for this. I'll be running the Bay to Breakers 12k in San Francisco this weekend, and although my training program hasn't adequately prepared me for this year's race, I'm still looking forward to it as a challenge. It'll help me set a benchmark so that I can gauge my progress after next year's race.

Next week, I will be away for my Week Without Walls trip (mentioned in an earlier post). The week's curriculum will afford me some variety in my workout. I'll be away from my stationary bike, but I'll be hiking and doing some beach training to make up for it. Fun times ahead!

This does mean that I'll be away from a computer for most of next week, so I'll post updates for each day when I return from my trip.

Tally for the week:

• Running (elliptical): 6 miles (Sat, Mon, Wed - 2 miles each)
  
• Cycling (stationary): 60 miles (10 per day, not counting today)
• Pushups: 300 (100 Sat, 100 Mon, 100 Wed, sets of 25)
  
• Crunches: 600 (100/day since Th, 4 sets of 25)
• Squats (no weights): 300 (100 Fri, 100 Sun, 100 Tues, 4 sets of 25)
• Lunges (no weights): 300 (100 Fri, 100 Sun, 100 Tues, 2 sets of 25 - each side)
• Form repetitions: 30 (10x Fri, 10x Sun, 10x Tues. Each day consists of 5 traditional, 5 contemporary)
• Kicks: 1800 (600x Sat, 600x Mon, 600x Wed. Assorted kicking techniques.)
• Bag work: 12 rounds (60 sec rounds; 4x Sat, 4x Mon, 4x Wed. Assorted boxing techniques.)

Total since Day 1:

• Running (total): 29 miles
• Cycling (total): 166 miles
• Pushups: 1150
• Crunches: 1800
• Squats: 900
• Lunges: 900
• Form repetitions: 90
• Kicks: 5100
• Bag work: 36 rounds (36m total)

All Things Pass

We had two fights at school today. The streak is over, but it was a good 15 months!

I had to catch myself after hearing the news. It saddened me and dampened my spirits slightly. Left unchecked, I would've allowed my mind to slide down a slippery slope and become frustrated, possibly even angry. Instead, I invested a few minutes and cleared my head by remembering a few ideas and focusing on what's important:

• All things pass in time. Impermanence is part of the natural way of things; therefore, I cannot allow myself to let a single day's incident cast a shadow over 15 months of success.
  
• To feel angry would be an empty and selfish emotion. The students who fought did not do so in order to ruin my day, nor did they do it to ruin the school's streak. They acted out of frustration and an inability (or unwillingness) to resolve their conflicts in a nonviolent manner. I can be disappointed about their choices without taking it personally, or even professionally.
• The fact that fights occurred is not a failure of the staff with regards to maintaining a safe environment; if anything, their professionalism in handling the events and their aftermath is a testament to their abilities!
  

My meditations on impermanence also brought me back to thoughts about my training. Without sincere effort, intentions remain intentions. Once acquired, I need to maintain and retain all of the positives of my journey!

Time to eat some dinner, cut some boards, choreograph some demonstrations, and then hit the gym. I'll post up my workout results for the week tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Musical Interlude

I've been selecting new music for an upcoming black belt test. I have a lot of music already, but I like to add to the collection each year so that I maintain a fresh rotation, instead of using the same songs.

My taste in demonstration music has shifted over the years. It's maintained a somewhat 'youthful' appeal, but I've expanded my selections to multiple genres. At first, I used top 40 pop music (which, at the time, was terrible...arguably still is, haha). From there, I shifted to using techno/dance/electronica music. I've also used a number of hard rock and hip-hop hits, as well as classical and jazz pieces, alternative rock, aerobics music, remixes and covers by other groups, movie and television soundtracks, various world music and New Age themes, contemporary vocalists, and more.

Lately, I've been exploring darker pieces. It's difficult to describe them accurately, but the closest I can get to it might be 'epic goth-femme symphonic metal', which in my amateur opinion includes the likes of Nightwish, Lacuna Coil, Within Temptation, Epica, and more. There's something that I find appealing about the balance of power rock chords, an upbeat percussion with heavy bass undertones, well-played supporting string instruments, and a musically-trained female vocalist....a sort of 'beauty arising from darkness' theme that I've come to enjoy.

To me, these things connect with something primal and essential about the martial arts. Our ways are rooted in techniques which can be employed for violent purposes; however, we strive to forge better selves through the training. The paradox of building beautiful people through the mastery and control of potentially destructive power is interesting.

In my head, that's what I hear when I listen to dark music - almost like a light in the darkness.

Strange, huh?

You Must Learn Control

(Props again to Master Yoda. Wise he is, yes.)

In my youth, I carried a lot of anger with me. I learned to hide it, so that no one else would see. When I was alone, I would boil within the stew of my own emotions. On rare occasions when it became too much to handle, I would lash out. It was not a pretty sight.

In time, I learned that holding onto anger and hiding it was a poor solution. It didn't make the feelings go away. I needed to engage my feelings and sort them out so that I could resolve the negative emotions that I felt. Doing this has contributed to the sense of peace that I have in my life. It's not that I don't feel anger anymore; I do, but those feelings get resolved much more quickly than before.

I have learned control.

This skill has been invaluable to my life, and it's also one of the reasons that I'm excited to be part of the "Live" program: participants complete a course to become anger coaches, learning techniques to help deal with anger. I didn't have these tools as a youth. I'm happy that I get to learn how to explain this to others, and that the students who are doing this program with me will be able to receive the same training.

How wonderful it will be for young teens to learn what has taken me a lifetime to begin to grasp!

Morning Hike

I didn't get to go hiking with my co-worker this morning. Bummer. Will have to reschedule for another time. Instead, I took my dog Phoenix with me and traipsed around in the hills near my house, up near Santa Teresa Park.

Phoenix is an amazing dog. She has such a phenomenal attitude and disposition. I can always count on her to be happy and full of energy, especially when I dangle a leash from my hands. That fills her with excitement. She knows that we're going out, and she loves seeing different places and experiencing different smells. Hiking is one of her favorite things to do, although it's difficult because she's not 100% leash trained.

Today, we cut our trip short. We encountered a small family of wild boars that were wandering along the back trails. Phoenix wasn't alarmed (it's not the first time this has happened), but her curious and friendly nature would not have served our best interests, so we turned around and took an alternate route back to the car.

Still a good hour's worth of hiking. Gotta look at the positives!

Meeting my mother and family for dinner later to celebrate Mother's Day. Time to put my food habits to the test.

Discipline and Diet, Part 2

Last month, I began discussing the first of several new food habits that I've been working on. I've been introducing this in stages, rather than all at once. It's time for me to begin stage two, which I've progressively been implementing already, just at a lower degree.

In this stage, I will reduce my soda consumption by 90%.

Soda is a major source of the empty calories in my old dietary habits. I used to consume 2-3 cans each day, sometimes more on the weekends. I'd get myself jacked up on caffeine and sugar, and then when the inevitable crash came, I'd reach for another one. On average, I'd say that I would consume about 20 cans of soda per week. Even at 100 calories per 8 oz serving (according to Coke), well that's still 150 calories per can, and 3000 extra calories per week. That's a LOT of extra calories.

I'm dropping it down to 2 per week, at most.

Instead of soda, I've been drinking bottled water, and having some Vitamin Water after workouts. In the mornings (yeah, I used to drink soda in the morning), I've been drinking green tea, mixed with either lemonade or apple juice as a sweetener.

Additionally, my meat consumption has gone down significantly. Instead, I'm turning to soymilk for protein. I used to dislike the taste, but Kikkoman (yeah, the soy sauce folks) makes an outstanding soymilk. I usually have a glass with my lunch.

At restaurants, I've been ordering strawberry lemonade instead of soda, but I need to be careful since a lot of places accomplish this with syrups, which aren't really helping me with sugar content. I'll have one occasionally, but I'll be ordering water more often when I'm out. Might even save me a couple of bucks!

More on this later. I'm not done adding new habits yet.

Upgrade Time

The testing schedule at the school conveniently afforded me a day off (well, sort of), so I've been using the morning to take care of logistics related to my upcoming Week Without Walls trip, as well as the black belt test that I will be hosting next weekend. As part of this, I've been doing research into purchasing a DSLR camera for high-speed action photos.

While doing this, I started wondering: so many of us are willing to invest so much time, effort, and hard-earned money upgrading our things and so little (if any) time upgrading ourselves.

How strange. Maybe that's why so many people also end up dissatisfied with themselves.

I'm trying to upgrade my life: not because it's a bad one, but because there is more than I can be doing with it. I only get one, so it might as well last as long as possible and be full of a lifetime's worth of great experiences, friendships, laughter, and love. All of those things aren't necessarily matters of quantity as much as they are matters of quality: it's not about "more", it's about "better"...and I am the one responsible for those things in my life, just as you are for yours.

With that being said, it's time for me to buy a new camera so that I can do a better job of capturing memories.

Workout Summary: Day 14

This week, I focused on biking over running. I've noticed that my knees aren't 16 anymore (I wasn't good to them back then either) and they're appreciating the fact that I'm treating them with care. I think I'll build in some work on the elliptical runner at my gym. Those don't hurt my knees nearly as bad. Then again, I attempted a couple of 540s the other day and it was probably premature for me to be tricking this early in the process, even with basic tricks, so it's my own fault. (I am SO throwing a 540 again before I'm done with this program.)

I also continued with my light strength program, with some bonus reps included, courtesy of the STAR test. I'm glad that my students are focused and are treating the test with the seriousness that it deserves, both for their sake and because it's given me the opportunity to sneak in a few extra sets. I'll need to add some weightlifting in the near future - not to bulk up, just for tone. High reps at low weight = win.

Soreness is becoming a way of life.

I've noticed that I've been needing more sleep. Perhaps my body is demanding recovery time to balance out the demands that I've been placing on myself lately. Maybe it's because I've patterned too much of my lifestyle around systematic sleep deprivation and it's time for me to change that, too. It's probably both, and more.

I'm hoping to include some light recreational hiking in the near future. I'm planning on hiking with a co-worker this weekend. I like hiking. I'll see about working it in as the weather improves.

Tally for the week:

• Running (road): 2.5 miles (Sat)
• Running (elliptical): 2.5 miles (Wed only - need more)
  
• Cycling (stationary): 60 miles (10 per day, not counting today)
• Pushups: 550 (100 Sat, 200 Mon, 250 Wed, sets of 25)
  
• Crunches: 600 (100/day since Th, 4 sets of 25)
• Squats (no weights): 300 (100 Fri, 100 Sun, 100 Tues, 4 sets of 25)
• Lunges (no weights): 300 (100 Fri, 100 Sun, 100 Tues, 2 sets of 25 - each side)
• Form repetitions: 30 (10x Fri, 10x Sun, 10x Tues. Each day consists of 5 traditional, 5 contemporary)
• Kicks: 1800 (600x Sat, 600x Mon, 600x Wed. Assorted kicking techniques.)
• Bag work: 12 rounds (60 sec rounds; 4x Sat, 4x Mon, 4x Wed. Assorted boxing techniques.)

Total since Day 1:

• Running (total): 23 miles
• Cycling (total): 106 miles
• Pushups: 850
• Crunches: 1200
• Squats: 600
• Lunges: 600
• Form repetitions: 60
• Kicks: 3300
• Bag work: 24 rounds (24m total)

Expanding the Oasis

I work in a tough neighborhood.

In an earlier entry, I described the appearance of the homes that I pass along my commute, but buildings don't fully capture a community in the same way that people do.

Let me tell you a little bit of what the statisticians have to say about the kids at my school:

• There are over two dozen active gangs which operate within a 5-mile radius of my school, some red, some blue, all recruiting.
  
• Many of my students, should they complete high school, will be the first in their family to do so.
  
• 65% of the students at my school are classified as socioeconomically disadvantaged.
  
• 58% of them are still learning English, to various degrees.
  
• 80% of the students are far below grade level in one or more subjects.

They are students who come to us already feeling defeated by the system, and often without the support structures at home to help, since many of their parents may have felt the same way. Along with low education levels tend to be low income levels, and with those levels of poverty, violence and drugs are not far behind.

My experience with the neighborhood, in some ways, is consistent with the aforementioned statistics and the premises which I've derived from them. I have broken up more than my fair share of fights; I've seen kids come to school loaded up on alcohol and worse; I've had to wear a stoic face as students excitedly show me what they found on the ground on their way to school - empty bullet casings. Others have come to me in tears because they were frightened of the sound of gunshots on their street last night. I've watched kids drop out, bleed profusely, lose their minds, become parents far too soon in their young lives, and I've even mourned the loss of a student whose life was cut short far too soon - not for any kind of affiliation other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now let me tell you a little bit about what we have accomplished:

• Last year, our school had the highest increase in test scores out of any school in the state of California (a 122-point increase in API, for those familiar with educator jargon).
• 100% of our graduating class was accepted to college and are currently attending.
• 75% of them are enrolled at 4-year schools.
• We have been operating for over 15 months without a fight on campus. (This is uncommon for a high school!)
  

I have had the honor of training virtually all of them, some of them as students in my academic classes, others as members of my martial arts program, some as both, and all of them as people whom I've interacted with on a daily basis and had mentor-like conversations with. I'm not taking credit for this; it's their accomplishment, but I certainly helped to provide useful success tools from the martial arts world. They did the rest.

Want further proof of the power of martial arts in schools?

Here's more:

The students involved in our program and/or mentorship are some of the most accomplished students in the school. Nearly every seat of the student government is occupied by a current or former student, along with the leadership positions of each sports team and school club, the editors of the yearbook and school paper, the vast majority of honors-level students, many of the volunteers who are active in the community and with the school, the prom king, and either the valedictorian or salutatorian (or both) of each grade level.

All of them are martial artists of varied levels of experience.

These are students who are traditionally 'left behind' by the system - the same students who were supposed to be helped by the "No Child Left Behind" initiatives, which have only punished their struggling schools. Yet, when placed in the right environment and given the opportunity, many of them excel.

Respect and courtesy are not hard to earn. Just give it away and you will often get it back.

I work to maintain and expand an oasis...in a tough neighborhood.

Soon, our work will grow beyond the gates of our campus and reach out into the community. Perhaps our work may not completely revolutionize the community, but it doesn't have to.

All we need to do is add another candlelight to the darkness, show people how to make their own light, and encourage them to share it.

In the Eyes of the World

In one of my recent posts, I mentioned Paulo Coelho, a bestselling author whose books have touched the lives of millions. He accomplishes this through a blend of narrative and spiritual depth. His stories are not simply stories - they are messages to his readers which reflect his own process of questioning and insight.

Recently, I picked up a copy of The Witch of Portobello, one of Coelho's more recent novels, and enjoyed it so much that I asked my high school students to study it. The novel begins in an interesting fashion: the main character is already dead, and the story is told from multiple points of view by the people who knew her. There are people who loved her, hated her, admired her, misunderstood her, and so on. Every time the narrator shifts, the reader is given a different view of the main character's life.

After reading it, I admit to indulging in a quasi-adolescent moment when I began to consider how other people in my life must view me. I say 'quasi-adolescent' because while my younger self was concerned with such things in order to seek acceptance with others, this time I reflected as a person who has accepted himself and was curious. Now that I am embarking on this UBBT/Live journey, I've revisited this train of thought because this project is not a private matter. It is highly visible and, in a manner of speaking, the eyes of the world are on us to see what martial artists are capable of.

It should be known that the people in this program don't do it for financial gain. Sure, they will be able to market themselves in their communities and benefit from their participation, but the kind of sincere effort which is required to participate in the UBBT is not the kind of work that a dollar-centric person would seek.

Similarly, this is not a program for glory hogs. The people who complete this program will certainly become more confident and feel more empowered because of their involvement and the personal sacrifices that they make; however, this is hardly a vehicle for the ego. Anyone can make a YouTube video and show it to the public as a means of self-gratification. Fewer would try to record themselves doing something positive for the world, if only to say, "We're helping out. Join us."

It may result in rank advancement for a select few who achieve remarkable results, but this isn't a platform for automatic advancement. It's earned through the same time-honored way that rank should be earned: hard work, scaled in difficulty to a level which is both rank-appropriate and takes the complete individual into account.

This program may also see its share of failure, but when you are pushing the envelope, failure is a part of success. Mistakes are a part of the game, as are challenges and setbacks.

I hope that what the world sees from this program is more than the results, but what our efforts and intentions represent. Long after this program is over, I hope that those people who followed our journey, those who participated along with us, and those who received some of the benefits of the program can all look back and say the same thing: that we made a difference.

Time to Wake Up

Recently, Tom Callos posted an open letter to the martial arts world, calling the masters and leaders of this generation to action: time to grow up.

His thoughts and words remind me so much of my own teacher, KJN Ed Fong. I suppose they should. After all, we're members of the same martial arts lineage, just different branches of the family tree. Yet, regardless of the messenger, there is wisdom to be found in the message: a martial artist needs to stand for more than just glorified punching and kicking, motivational daycare, wealth building, or any of the gimmicks that we've employed in recent decades.

I should clarify myself before I proceed: instructors always carry an obligation to develop, refine, and display nothing short of exemplary skill. They also should convey the philosophies of their given art to their students and discuss the benefits of martial arts training as they pertain to daily life. When applied, those skills can and often will yield success of many kinds - emotional, financial, you name it.

I'm saying that those things aren't enough.

As a young instructor, searching for information and methods to build my school, I embraced a lot of those practices because I thought they were cutting-edge practices which would lead me to success. They were, and they did. However, those same practices, when treated as a school owner's core focus, empty the arts of value. It converts a school into a business of the worst kind: one which (forgive me) seduces its students with early success and simplistic insights, develops unwavering loyalty through masterful relationship-building, and then uses them as a vehicle for simple financial gain from that point onward because they are eternally grateful for what they have been given.

For a time, I participated in this, and I grew to despise myself for what I had become. Not that I didn't like having money. It's nice. Not that a part of me didn't enjoy the prestige of walking into a room and seeing several hundred people stop to stand up and bow. It's nice to be recognized. However, as I embraced more and more of the practices of the 'martial arts business', I began to feel like I was exploiting my students, and it wasn't right. In my quest for professionalism, I lost my sincerity.

Since then, I have found it again. Now that I am more acutely aware of such things, I hope that I am less likely to lose it again. (Should this occur, please tell me.) But now that I've rediscovered this part of myself, what comes next? What is a martial artist to do?

And the words of Master Fong and Master Callos return to me:

Give back.
Walk your talk.
Live the life.

It's time for me to grow up. I need to do more than reject the old paradigms which I once embraced. I need to synthesize what was useful from it with what I know now and help to transcend myself and advance the art for the benefit of our families, our communities, our countries, and our world.

My teachers already knew this to be true.
It's taken me until now to understand.

I am awake now, sir!

Facing the Dark Side

"A truly accomplished warrior may renounce violence -
but only his or her mastery of violence makes this possible."
-Phil Elmore, founder of The Martialist

There is much insight in Elmore's words; however, I would expand upon Elmore's words and replace "violence" with "darkness". Perhaps it's the Star Wars fan in me, but I also believe that violence is often a physical projection of dark thoughts and beliefs that we allow to manifest in our consciousness, and then bring forth into the world. If we are to overcome violent tendencies, we must confront our darker nature and take control of it, lest it control us.

If you glance at a yin-yang symbol, there are many lessons represented within the simple pattern which resonate with the martial artist's path towards overcoming their dark side.

The first concept is called the duality of opposites: the idea that there are qualities which exist in opposition to each other within a given phenomena. We cannot speak of one without referring to the other. In the quest towards achieving peace, the martial artist must acknowledge and accept that they carry both positive and negative qualities. To borrow from a Cherokee parable, the side which triumphs is the one you feed.

The second concept relates to the common root of yin and yang. Both concepts are bound together as a mutual whole, which in our case, is ourselves. Our emotions, positive and negative, spring forth from the same place.

The third concept can be seen in the wavelike shape of the yin-yang, as well as the circle contained within each 'head' of the 'fish': the yin-yang represents transformative duality. Both sides contain the potential to transform each other into their opposites. As such, we must be cautious of dogmatic tendencies. As Elmore would warn in his critique of pacifism, an extreme adherence to peace-loving can potentially become a disregard for life, if we place the value of peace over that of life. Some things are worth fighting for. Conversely, some of the major social movements in our world have taken place following some of the darkest chapters of our history: a sort of light which shines forth from the darkness.

The fourth concept is dynamic equilibrium. Yin and yang exist in balance and harmony. When one disappears, so does the other. We cannot discard our negative emotions. Training or no training, they remain a part of us. Instead, we learn to resolve them, and in doing so, we achieve balance. Ideally, this is a milestone of a martial artist's philosophical development.

It doesn't take fancy academic terminology to understand yin and yang, especially as it pertains to confronting our darker selves. Ultimately, it boils down to recognizing, coming to terms with, and handling our own potential for wrongdoings in thoughts, speech, and action.

Little Things Count Most

Earlier tonight, Jenn and I attended our fourth prom. The first two were our own, and the most recent two have been for my school. Although she was accompanying me to help supervise the dance, I still treated it as if I was courting her in high school. I'm a romantic like that.

That evening, I made sure that my car was shiny and sparkly, that I was dressed for the occasion, and as I did often in my youth, I wanted to impress her. We had a fancy dinner, great conversation, photographs, the works. After we arrived at the event, we made our rounds exchanging greetings and introductions with other staff, students, and their dates. Afterwards, we sat at a table with a clear view of the dance floor so that we could fulfill our roles well, and still have an opportunity to dance if the right song began to play.

Needless to say, she was impressed.

How did I know? Well, she told me. While we sat there, enjoying the music, having conversations with students and their dates, and smiling as the students danced the evening away, she leaned over and said:

"Your students show you more respect than my college students do."

This is a moment of realization for me; a time when I appreciate her even more because as my partner and equal, she's taught me through her own perceptions what really matters.

It wasn't my haircut, tuxedo, or the car. The fancy dinner was nice, but it didn't have to be there. It wasn't even about the perfect table or the music. She noticed how respectful the students were. It was a gentle reminder of the two most important lessons that we teach in our intro lessons: discipline and respect. She noticed that they were acting like young adults and not children, able to fully enjoy the moment and immerse themselves in a celebration of another rite of passage in their lives without incident.

That's what stood out to her that night: when we walked in, students immediately looked over and from across the room, you could hear, "Hey, Mr.G's here!", and "Hi, Mr.G! It's good to see you here!" amidst a collection of handshakes, polite greetings, and enthusiastic hugs from young men and women. Much like Jenn, the students didn't need anything fancy from me - they were just happy that I was there.

Such simple little things:
...a polite greeting,
...a handshake,
...a hug,
...sharing company.

And they mean everything.

Thirty Minutes to Thrive

In Anthony Robbins' work, he encourages people to invest in an "Hour of Power" every morning. During this hour, you prepare your mind for the day, particularly your attitude! For those who may not have the luxury of a full hour, you can take "thirty minutes to thrive" instead. In my case, my "Hour of Power" is divided into two thirty-minute shifts.

The first thirty minutes occurs when I wake up in the morning. I'm usually conscious before my alarm goes off, but as a creature of habit, I wait an extra few minutes and allow the beep from my cell phone to signal the beginning of my morning meditation. I sit up in my bed, cross my legs, and focus on affirmations and commitments which relate to my life's mission of helping others. A few favorites include:

• Today is a new day, a new beginning. In every instant of every day, the universe ceases to be itself and becomes something else, all without losing its identity. I have the power to do the same. In any moment, I can choose to become something else, and in doing so, I do not have to give up who I am.
• As I can choose to reinvent myself at any time, so can others. Yesterday's negative perceptions do not have to be today's unless I choose to let them. In the present moment, I can be mindful of yesterday, while remaining open to tomorrow.
  
• I create my own destiny. My choices and actions define who I am, not only in the eyes of others, but in my own. I must always act in a way that allows me to face the man in the mirror with dignity.
  
• Today, the universe will present opportunities for me to be kind to others. I must think clearly to see them for what they are.
• Anger, fear, aggression: the dark side, are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you, it will. (Thanks, Master Yoda.)

My cell phone reminds me when thirty minutes have passed, and I get out of bed to begin my usual morning rituals: hygiene, nourishment, love to family, and preparations to leave for work.

During my drive to work, the second "thirty minutes" take place. I've organized my commute in order to present myself with an opportunity for both auditory and visual stimulation. I have several playlists on my iPod which are great for setting a positive mood. Most of the time, it's upbeat music, often the kind which I use (or have/will use) for demo team routines. It keeps me energized. If you're driving around in San Jose and see some random guy rocking out in his car, that's probably me.

Visually, my commute takes me through some of the wealthiest and the most poverty-stricken areas of San Jose. It's another chance for me to focus on my work (even while I rock out).

While I drive over the hill, pass the local country club, and scan all of the beautiful homes up there, I am reminded of several things: (1) how fortunate I am, (2) how comfortably I live, and (3) how I've lived a happy and fulfilling life without needing such things.

Then I reach the bottom of the hill, where I pass a few businesses and then turn into the local residences by my school. The homes range from modest to 'should be condemned', and I am also reminded that (1) some people live with economic hardship all around them, (2) this is often a generational cycle and it has bred a sense of defeatism and cynicism for many who live with it, and (3) that I teach many students who have grown up with this, some of whom may occasionally see me as a guy from 'the hill' even though I'm just a guy on the other side of the hill.

After a few blocks of this, I pull into the parking lot of my school, reminded of advice from one of my old teachers: that teaching is all about inspiring people to go where they've never gone before, do what they've never done before, and become who they never thought they would be - or more.

My commute prepares me mentally and emotionally for what awaits me. Where I work, the skills of a master are required. I am proud to work amongst other masters, heroes-in-training, leaders of the community, and positive role models. We are all dedicated to serving others and helping our communities to create a brighter future, but we all recognize that this is challenging work. Challenges are awesome.

For me, the vision begins anew every day with thirty minutes of mindful intention, and proceeds into a day of passionate action.