Taking the High Road

Despite my generally amiable nature, I have numerous pet peeves which irritate me. One of them is when people engage in feeble, mocking attempts at respectful behavior, and ultimately end up just failing to conceal their disdain. You know, like that oh-so-obligatory handshake which is simply given because it's a custom and not because it's genuine? Or those people who smile and speak calmly while they issue insults, attempting to hide an obvious lack of tact by giving the impression that they're being constructive? It drives me batty, and I find it hard to avoid the temptation to fire off a snappy remark to chop their ego down to size (of which I have several). Still, I manage to do so most of the time.

Sometimes I get that feeling from old-generation martial artists (of all levels). They see a young and idealistic master (or someone who they think makes such claims), and then I am suddenly placed in positions where I am tested on my knowledge of the esoteric hidden teachings of ancient warrior cultures. Other times, I am asked questions about my style and watch their frustration when their attempts to categorize me into martial stereotypes fail (I have abandoned most notions of style and system, other than to respect and pay homage to those which are part of my lineage and those who value such things...more on that another time). Once, I was even challenged by someone who interrupted my class to request a match - and he was serious. (Didn't such nonsense end long before chop-saki B-grade kung fu films depicted them as another day in the life of an action star?)

It's very strange when this happens. It reminds me of KJN Tom's open letter to the martial arts world (see his 5/4/09 entry on his blog), asking them to grow up. I find such treatment to be childish and ego-based. It is a form of treatment which I find discriminatory, since most of these so-called experts would have never been this disrespectful to their own masters - had they received any training worth mentioning. Instead, they hold the standards of their teacher up as a lens by which to judge me negatively, based on my 'inadequacies' (read as: differences between what we do).

Nonetheless, I bear the offenses with dignity. It is their misunderstanding, and does not have to become my offense unless I choose to take them. Also, it's possible that I'm just offended due to my own misunderstanding, so I'd rather not overreact to something which may simply be an error. Instead, I feel reinforced in my obligation to lead by example - to display qualities of mastery without giving in to the pinpricks to my ego.

When faced with rudeness, I am polite at first, gentle when appropriate, and firm when necessary.

When faced with know-it-alls, I become a student at first, a conversationalist when appropriate, and a professor when necessary.

When faced with harsh criticism, I listen and reflect, letting go when it is appropriate, and taking action when it is appropriate.

When faced with hecklers, I succeed in order to help them believe. I cannot force them to believe, but I can focus and not allow their disbelief to become my own.

Regardless of their treatment, I will not allow such people to reduce me to their level simply because I choose not to be "one of them". I can be more, and I can always improve...but such things come on my terms, not anyone else's.